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Helping your kids understand your divorce

On Behalf of | Sep 23, 2021 | Divorce |

One of the hardest conversations New York parents might have to have with their children is to announce their divorce. However, they can work together to help their children through this difficult time.

Meet and plan to decide how to approach telling the kids the news

Before speaking to your children about the divorce, you and your spouse should meet to decide what you will say, how you will say and when you will say it. While you’ll want to be as honest as possible with the children about the situation, you also do not need to share all the details about the process or what led to the decision. As well, you should focus on speaking to the children in a way that lets them know you will both continue to be in their lives, to support them and to love them. Finally, the timing of when you speak to them can be important, since they will need time to think about the news, ask questions and begin dealing with their emotions.

What should you say to your children?

Children are not adults, so you must be careful about what you say to them when you talk about your divorce. Even if your children are adolescents, avoid sharing the adult details of the situation, particularly if it puts your children in the uncomfortable situation of taking sides or if it seems you are placing blame on one parent. However, you can share many other things, including:

  • Why you have jointly decided to take this step
  • Which parent will be moving out of the home
  • What things will remain the same in the children’s lives
  • What things will change in their lives

While speaking to your kids about divorce is difficult, the most important thing you can do is to reassure them of your commitment to the family. Present a united front even if you cannot continue as a married couple.